Reflecting on 2023
I’m not much of a new years resolution person and I’ve never been one to do any formal reflection on the year as it comes to its end. I see the value in these practices, though, as this year perhaps more than any other it didn’t really hit me until the end of December just how formative the last 12 months were. Every year as I get older life seems to feel slightly more painful and the blissful ignorance of being young fades just a touch. I think for most of us each year brings more reality and more tough stuff whether it be family, money, or career pressures. On the flip side of that, though, every year I also feel like I’m inching toward being the person I want to be. In running but also in life – I feel less afraid to be myself and less pressure to fit any confines I may have previously put on myself. Putting all my thoughts and feelings out there about every aspect of the year feels a little overwhelming, so I’m just focusing on the year in running here. But as always, there was more to life than running in 2023 — there was the Eras Tour (twice), getting over my fear of coding to start working on my masters thesis and lots of baking and cooking to name a few.
With running, if you would have told me last January everything I was going to accomplish in 2023, I wouldn’t have believed you. But my initial reaction when reflecting on the running year is to point out all the areas I wanted to do better, all the performances that disappointed me. But really – I raced alongside some of the best in the world, made Team USA, and placed 21st in the world and went to Austria in the process. Before I made the team, I told myself that if I got the chance to go, I wouldn’t even care about how I did because just being there would be the biggest win. Well, that may be true – being there was already a win, but of course I cared about how I did. I didn’t have any expectations but I had pressure on myself to represent Team USA to the best of my ability and run a race I was proud of. In the end, I think I did that but very much felt hungry for more. Going back to Alaska to do some short, local races, I felt a self imposed pressure to do well because it felt like all eyes were on me after going to worlds. In reality, those types of races were not what I had been training for and I knew very well going into them that while perhaps unbeknownst to the rest of the trail running world, the Alaska mountain running scene is filled with talent and experience that should never be underestimated.
Heading into the final descent at the WMTRC 40k in Innsbruck, Austria. Photo by Mike McMonagle @shitinthewoods
A big focus of mine this fall was the Rut 50k in Big Sky, Montana. I felt well prepared and excited for the race but it ended up being the first time I truly felt limited mentally rather than physically. The night before the race, I got a phone call with some scary family news – everyone ended up being okay but it was an emotional rollercoaster that brought up a lot of feelings. I still wanted to race but had serious doubts I could stay mentally tough enough for 6 hours of hard, high altitude racing. I got through the race with lots of ups and downs – feeling great in second place, dropping back to third and thinking of every possible reason I should call it quits, to getting absolutely revived by a bucket of icewater and holding on to a podium finish.
Finish line of the Rut 50k. Photo by Ryan Thrower
After the Rut, I thought my mountain season was over. I had plans to switch gears and train for CIM in December but made a somewhat last minute decision to keep the trail season going and head down to Mexico for Puerto Vallarta 50k by UTMB. This race really felt like a fever dream – insane heat and humidity, nonexistent trails, constant puking, supermanning in front of an entire aid station, and being carried into an ice bath at the finish line. Oof. Tracen and I joked that the trip was a ‘business trip’ – to get another result on the year and give ourselves a chance to race in Chamonix next summer. Business deal done. I truly have zero race photos from the trip so here’s a day of the dead skeloton, hugging Tracen after he survived 10 hours in the Mexican jungle, and looking fondly at some delicious iced coffee.
Mexico finally did mark the end of the racing season (is it really a ‘season’ if I raced from February - November?) and it was time for some chill time. That looked like a week off of running then just easy, low intensity running and other activities while finishing up the semester of school. Going home to Anchorage was the perfect way to end the year – lots of skiing, family time, and cozying up in the dark days of Alaskan winter. Being down in Reno for these two years has truly been flying by and I can’t deny I’ll be sad to leave soon — but there’s never a question in my mind that Alaska is where my heart is! 2024 is already the year of bangs, finishing grad school (hopefully), and moving back to AK! Yay!
Thanks for reading!
X
Klaire
